THE LABYRINTH OF TOXIC POSITIVITY

Well hello there! Welcome back to the "mwanaumestrong" blog. I hope this time we have spent away from each other has been nothing but productive if not healthy.

In today's blog post, I would like to focus on a very minutely discussed topic; 'Toxic positivity'.

 Well, for starters toxic positivity or positive toxicity is dysfunctional emotional management without the full acknowledgment of negative emotions, particularly anger and sadness.

 It is prevalent, especially in African culture and more so; in Kenyan culture. I remember almost vividly when I finally decided to open up about some of my mental health issues, I received some impertinent remarks from a few fellows here and there; mostly elderly adults. These statements included: "being negative won't help you" - (.... thanks for the advice I think I should have known that by now), "good vibes only". (... seriously? even when I am having a depressive episode?), "Other people have it a lot worse". (...I try to resonate with them but the brain just doesn't work like that), "Smile, crying won't help".- (...and so is acting). 

To a servile degree, we usually succumb to such condescending comments, some of which I find quite repugnant and demoralizing. I don't blame society though, most of us are accustomed to these Malpractices. Yes, there is no need for any uncalled-for tirade; get a book and a pen for it is time to do some unlearning.

How can we combat toxic positivity traits in ourselves and others?

For starters, I think it is important for people to filter out some of the pages they follow online. Even though sometimes those pages serve a great cause to humanity; they exacerbate optimism to a whole other level.

I think it is important for a person to feel their emotions and not ignore them; as toxic positivity preaches. It is an undeniable fact that the human mind comes with a conglomerate of emotions that are meant to be experienced. These emotions include grief, sadness, joy, and anger; which are very beautiful emotions that display the dexterity and complexities of human acumen.

When someone comes to you with an issue; it is important to listen to them attentively first and not try to invalidate their feelings. Instead of giving them unsolicited advice, tell them that you are there to listen and that, their emotions and feelings matter.

I believe maybe once or twice in your life, you have experienced some low emotions or perhaps been deep into the doldrums. 

Well for me I have had some interesting experiences, especially with the bona fide, bible quoting, hallelujah chanting, tongue-twisting, pentecostal Christians.

Don't get me wrong I have nothing against any Christian. I consider myself to be a stringent-practicing Roman Catholic.

Although I know they mean quite well, I don't think prayers alone; coupled with nothing else, can, most of the time, get anyone out of the doldrums; that is, with immediate effect.

I believe our Lord gives us aid by giving us strength to do the healthy practices that enable us to get out of hard situations. Like the Lord, by his infinite graces, gives me great strength to work out, go to therapy, journal, meditate and write my blog.

You see, It is not prayer alone, but prayers with actions. Agnostic notions form an intricate affiliation with toxic positivity and one must be very careful on how they handle such.

Just to sum up, your feelings as a man are plausible. Let no one undermine how you feel. When others come to you with their issues, always be ready to listen to them first, before you can give them your opinion. There are better terms to use instead of using the usual toxic ones that we are accustomed to. These terms include...

"It is important to let it out, is there anything I can do to help ?"

"I love you through your emotional states."

"You are resilient and your strength will help you get through it."

"It's okay to cry we all do, can I get you a tissue or hug you?"

"Things are looking hard, do you want to talk about it or do something light-hearted?"

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